How to Handle the Problem of Anger
Situations that provoke anger are common place in our present day society. It could be while commuting or taking a public transport from one part of the town to another, it could be at the place of work, traffic stress is enough to induce some form of anger and stress, talk of the social media and our day to day interactions with people. When you bring it down to the close family circle, it’s likely not as frequent but may not be too different also, provocations abound everywhere and if you are on the lookout for something to get you angry, you will find one. As much as there seem to be a sort of explanation to why anger is expected, it is not a good emotion at all. In fact, when not well handled it could lead to more serious things. Also when it becomes frequent and almost a habit, then another bigger problem ensues. Constant anger is bad for your health. When you keep losing your cool, it can affect your heart and can increase the chances of stroke. It can also affect your relationships badly when it is not well managed. The following tips will help you to handle issues of anger more effectively.
Instead of shouting immediately at the instance you get provoked and spewing out all the hurtful words coming to your mind, it is better to deliberately keep silent for some time before talking. It’s likely that most of the words that come into your mind to say at that moment of hot anger may not be the right words to say. Try to think before you go ahead to talk, allowing some moments of silence will help you to gather your thoughts.
Count 10 or 100
There’s this old trick that can help you practise the silence tip, when you are mildly angry, count from 1 to 10 before talking. When you are seriously angry, count from 1 to 100 and then don’t talk. This trick is just to help you control yourself at the moment of anger, so you don’t react immediately.
Respond, Don’t React
Always try to respond to situations and not just react. Regardless of how tense the situation is, be determined not to just react based on how you feel at the moment, allow yourself some moment of silence to ponder the situation, so that you can know how best to respond. Reacting will mean that as the other person who is probably causing the anger is talking or doing something to provoke you, you also give it to him/her the same hot way and by that make the situation hotter, but responding will mean that you control your emotions and you control the tension in the situation by taking time to think before talking back or doing something.
Inability to manage stress well can make you to be tensed up and become very irritable. Try to avoid too much stress, take some good rest when you are tense. This will help you to cool off and be calm to handle situations more calmly.
Find a Good Time to Express Yourself
Practicing the silence tip does not mean you should keep the anger in and keep on boiling, it doesn’t mean you should not express your displeasure, but it is to help you to react at a more appropriate time and in a more appropriate way. You should find the right time to speak to the person or people who offended you. You will be able to better address the issue from a better perspective and your emotions at this time and of those involved would likely have subsided so issues can be trashed out. Two wrongs don’t make a right, so shouting while the other party is shouting may not really help.
Seek for Help
If your anger problem is out of your control, then you may want to see a mental health specialist or a therapist. Tell them exactly what your anger issue is and be open enough to get help.
Use a Helpful Phrase
You could have a kind of phrase that you can use to somehow work on yourself when you are tense so as to calm you down. Phrases like ‘relax’, ‘you’ll be fine’ and the likes could be used if they work for you.
Exit the Environment
If it will not be seen as a rude reaction if you leave the environment of provocation, then you can decide to leave that environment for a while so as to ease the tension. Staying there might mean you still hearing or seeing prevocational things but when you leave that place, you can get your mind off it at least to some extent. Don’t stay in a place where a negative emotion will be fuelled to the extent that you’d then react in a wrong way.
Write it Down
Instead of shouting or reacting in a wrong way, you can decide to voice your anger on a paper. Writing it down could serve as another means of getting out the hot feeling within you. You could decide to write a letter to the person that offended you, expressing your anger on paper, and afterwards tear it up. This could help you figure out what’s really eating you up and help you see it from a better point of view.
Avoid the Anger Trigger
When you notice a particular environment or person triggers anger within you. Probably due to the person’s words or behaviours, you should do your best to avoid getting into interactions that could create avenue for such provocations to take place.
Find A Way to Laugh
Try to get the angry mood away, find a way to laugh, probably play with your kids if you have already, or just look for something you could use to make you laugh.
Forgive Your Offender
Depending on the gravity of the offence, forgiving can either be easy or difficult. But no matter how bad the hurt or offence is, keeping a grudge, bitterness or hate against another person and being angry at them for what they’ve done to you, not forgiving them is not good for you. It hurts you more. So, the best thing is to find a way to forgive your offender(s) so you can have a healthy mind.
Distract Yourself or Pour Energy into Some Activity
You could decide to distract yourself from the heat of the anger boiling within you or around by doing an activity that you think can otherwise distract your attention so that at least for some time, you can ease off. You could also pour your energy into some other activity that can use up excess adrenalin in your body. You can also decide to inflict your anger on a non-living thing, something like screaming into a pillow, punching.
Alert Yourself at Warning Signs
If you notice that there is a warning sign showing up that means you are getting angry, you should take note of the warning sign and do something to help yourself not to go the wrong path of anger.
Speak to Someone You Trust
You can also decide to speak with someone about the situation eating you up, so that you can get their help somehow to help you manage your emotions and look at the situation in a proper way.