How to Socialize in College: Tips for Students
Becoming sociable in the University can be awkward for a lot of people, especially if you are a fresher who is just resuming, and you are just finding your feet within the environment. In a new environment, you might have difficulty relating with people around, talk less of making new friends and sometimes it appears as if it is too late to fit in. Luckily for you, there is no latecomer in the University; it is a place for you to find your feet, learn and grow and these are vital factors when starting new relationships.
Being sociable: an advantage for different areas of life
Aside from just making friends, being sociable is also a value that a lot of companies are looking for nowadays and this is due to the changing times, where machines are now replacing humans in carrying out work.
Due to the technological advancement of the world, being able to converse well is a skill gaining traction on the job market. Companies nowadays are looking to hire professionals who are empathetic and open-minded when negotiating with a potential customer or other workers in the company.
To simplify the process and help you eliminate the stress and nerves that this instance generates, we bring you tips on how to socialize successfully in college. But before we delve into the tips, there are certain to note about being sociable in college, check them out below:
5 Keynotes about being sociable in college
We would like to have that magic formula for everyone to like us, to become a “little gold coin” and be accepted in society. Below are certain things one should note about being sociable:
- Note 1: There is no such list and, since we have different personalities, what applies for some does not work for others. Do not feel deceived by the headline; we will talk about guidelines that are very useful for maintaining good friendships. Still, we must remove that label of wanting to follow a manual that many times will not be useful, in addition to being clear that it is not about searching for friends as if we were filling places in our friend list.
- Note 2: create friends instead of looking for them. Friendships are not sought, but bonds are created and formed which later leads to being able to give that title. The dynamics in which you connect with the other, you know the person, and you find similar points and enable feelings of trust leads you to determine whether or not that person is a friend.
- Note 3: Relating without any interest. If we make friends out of interest or expect something in return, that person will not meet those needs after a moment, and we end up leaving the person. Ultimately it would turn out as if we used that person. But if, on the contrary, we relate and make friends with them for what they are and not for what they give us, friendship lasts. You end up accepting it as it is, regardless of whether they respond to your needs.
- Note 4: Friends need quality time. Two people sitting at the same table are together, but it does not mean that they are necessarily related. According to Gary Chapman, author of the book, the five languages of love, “the union has to do with complete attention between the two.”
Taking the author’s example, when a young man is rolling a ball towards his friend in the yard, his attention is not focused on the ball but his friend. For that brief moment, they are together. But, if that young man is on the phone while rolling the ball, his attention is diverted.
- Note 5: To keep friends it is important to give gifts and perform acts of service as Chapman explains, a gift is something that you can have in your hand and say: “Look, he was thinking of me”, or “She was thinking about me”. “You must think of someone to give her a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter if it costs money; what matters is if you thought about it”, he adds.
There is no magic recipe or a special place to find friends, nor is it impossible to make new friends and keep them. It is essential to be open to meeting new people and without any interest. Friends are not sought; they are created.
Having established no special formula or manual to make friends and be sociable, we will now move to tips on how to become sociable.
7 tricks to be more friendly, fun and empathetic
If you are a bit shy or reserved, you should know that social and communication skills can be learned. Connecting with other people is one of the most trainable skills we have. We are social beings by nature, and if you put these tips and tricks into practice, you can improve in this regard.
Keep in touch
If you know someone with whom you would like to meet again on another occasion, do not hesitate to ask them for some form of contact (Facebook, phone, email). In this way, you will have a quick way to hear from that person again.
Many friendships can be kept alive over time, thanks to this medium in our age of technology and social networks. Please take advantage of it.
Be someone nice to be with
Don’t underestimate the importance of smiling, being gentle, and having good manners with other people. It is easy to deduce that we are all attracted to those people who make us feel good.
This is one of the most important tips if you want to develop your sociability and empathy because if you are kind, you will notice that others begin to give you the same good treatment back.
Don’t worry if some interaction doesn’t go as expected
Losing means accepting that not everything always goes as expected. You have to keep in mind that sometimes the people you are trying to interact with will not be in the mood. It happens to all of us sometimes, and there is no need to give it more thought.
Nothing happened! Don’t take responsibility for it. You will find several people who will want to know you for each person who is not in an open mental state towards you. Learning to be more sociable and fun also involves fighting shyness and being more open with others, even if someone may not always be very kind. This should not affect us.
If you are kind, open and friendly, you will get to know people who will bring positive things.
Go out more
The best way to make friends is by being outdoors more rather than staying all day indoors. You cannot say you want to make friends and stay inside your room all day asides from going to class. It would be best if you were around people to make friends. Nothing is better than a person willing to participate in the activities that take place at the University. If you want to make friends and usually walk away or disappear when an event occurs, you’re doing things the other way. Participate, open yourself to new experiences. Whether study groups or recreational activities, all of them will make you interact with people.
Visit the library, use the school cafeteria. Join a study group to meet new people, participate in sporting activities.
Don’t get caught up in the virtual world
In the modern world, we can replace a person’s physical company with the idea of someone on the other side of a computer. We know that for many it is easier to interact with others through electronic devices, these become a kind of mask that cannot be hurt, that will not make fun of you, and before which you will not be ridiculed; and if so, all you have to do is turn it off. However, this attitude is harmful to you. Knowing, talking, interacting with other people is important for your personal growth; even disappointments make you stronger, teach you, and create imaginations that you can avoid later. Don’t run away from the world.
Don’t run away
It’s very simple to walk away from everyone and create a barrier. People will not want to climb it, and you will be safe, or so you think. We do not advise you to isolate yourself in your world, this can be good for a little while, but in the long run, you will need people and people will also need you. Creating good interactions, getting to know people and making yourself known will bring you many benefits.
Practice whenever you can
Your family circle and your closest friends can be a good testbed to open up and socialize. All the techniques and tricks mentioned above can be put into practice with them: take an interest in their lives, stay in touch if you are not around them, empathize with them, do unusual activities.
If you have an exciting and active life, you will be more friendly and interesting, but you will attract more people to want to meet you.
The University is where you will learn many things, including creating bonds and letting life flow. In the long run, it will not all be homework, work, or grades. It is important that you go out to party, travel or participate in conversations when you are young. It is the ideal time for all these types of things. Do not let time pass, if you have all the capacities to achieve it.
Chapman, G., 2007. 5 Love Languages – The 5 Love Languages®. [online] The 5 Love Languages®. Available at: <https://www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/> [Accessed 13 July 2020].